believing in yourself
Most of us feel inspired by looking at a picture of someone else, but when we look into the mirror, we get a different feeling. We don’t smile when we look into it, some of us cringe, others of us start thinking about the problems in our lives. We start to think about the NEGATIVE aspects in life, and in reality some of us can’t even fathom too look into the mirror for very long at all.
Why is this?
There's no belief…
In what? OURSELVES !
We tend to be our own worst critic, and that makes moving towards success an almost impossible journey. See If we don’t BELIEVE in something, we won’t put action towards it. We don’t put the energy necessary towards it to produce the results we want.
Why should we?
A few months ago I had an incident where I felt down and out on my luck. I was trying everything but nothing would give. I created goals, and everything else necessary. I plugged along, but it seemed as if things were getting worse, nothing would give. It was so bad that when I would look into the mirror I felt disgusted. I took a break and did some soul searching, I felt like I needed too so I looked for a sign, something had to give. After a few days I finally said forget it and started to think about doing something else.
Then all the sudden I caught the glimpse of a Cardinal gazing at me from upon a tree branch. It was a lonely speck of red amongst the surrounding shade of white from the falling snow.
As we gazed at each other a thought hit me like a runaway train. It was like the clouds had lifted and an array of sunshine had produced in my thoughts. This lonely bird represented an Idea, the idea that belief in yourself is something only I could bring forth.
Just like the bird that was sitting there by itself, the only dependence this bird had was on itself. No other animal was going to back this bird up in a time of need. No other bird was going to feed this bird, or give this bird guidance or a helping hand. This bird was alone, and that was ok with the bird.
See prior to this moment clarity, my thoughts had been clouded by the perception that I wasn’t alone. That people believed in me, and that I had hands to fall upon in my times of need.
Ok, before you begin to think that those closest to me had abandoned me, it wasn’t like that at all. I have couple of people who care for me very deeply, as I do them. But what I’m talking about is believing in yourself when no one else does.
The thought that even those closest to you whom love you very much, don’t believe in you at all. The moment when the illusion you created comes crashing down without a moment’s notice, and that feeling of when the hopelessness arises.
When that moment I like to call “reality”, smacks us in the face. For so many years we have become accustomed to putting all our eggs into one basket. Then someone comes and smashes the damn eggs, and we look into the basket and think “damn, so it’s like that”. What do we do then? What do we make of the current situation? Well, we have 2 choices.
Most of us embrace the self-pity, the worthlessness, and go into a deep depression. We tend to indulge in this we shouldn’t, but seem to do it anyways.
We overeat, we place the blame on the world, we push those around us away. When ultimately we should gather our strength and realize that we came into this world alone, and we will leave this world alone, but that’s easier said than done.
Something clicked at that moment when I saw that bird, an idea popped into my mind that I ran with. It eventually panned out and the momentum is still continuing to build.
Where do we pick up the pieces, and how do we put them back together?
Good question, but ultimately it takes baby steps. Babies don’t get up and just take off, they fall over and over again. They cry, but they get back up and go at it, time and time again until they succeed. We all did this, so why is it so damn hard to do anything else in life? Why do we attach ourselves to illusions so damn much?
The answer is never an easy one, we're all different, so the answer will always be different each time. What’s similar is the path we start on to get to that answer. The answer isn’t always at the end of the path, but on the way there. We gain insight on who we are by taking the journey, not hiding in shame. Not blaming others, cheating, lying, and being bitter for the rest of our lives.
We need to find that isolated bird we can relate too, some of us need more than just a simple sign. So here are a few tips to help you find your path, a guiding light to help you start on your path if you will.
Tips to start your journey
Never place all your eggs in one basket, realize that you and only you are responsible for your life. You can’t change what others are doing, or what they say behind your back. Realize that you can only do you, not anyone else. Once you realize this you will have a sense of control of your own life.
Realize that STUFF HAPPENS to all of us, roll with the punches and try, try, try again!
Keep a log, or a daily journal of your feelings. If you feel lonely this is a good way to connect with yourself. By keeping a journal you can reflect daily on what you need to get done, how you feel, and how you want to feel.
Listen to positive music, don’t play some negative crap. I can’t stand the love songs that are about heartbreak. People listen to that junk expecting it to make them feel better. No, its not going to do anything except piss you off even further.
Keep positive pictures and quotes around you at all times. The more they affect you on a personal level, the better your chances for success will be.
Read books on success, read similar stories to what you feel like you’re going through. Model your idea after the person in the book, but never emulate them to a T. You are your own person and you have your own path to walk on.
Don’t listen to people you find don’t have what you want. A coworker, a friend, a family member,etc. I don’t give a rats ass who they are to you, if they are miserable, then they’re NOT the people you should be taking any advice from. If they offer you advice, politely listen and smile. But let it go in one ear and out the other. Chances are they will tell you stuff you don’t want to hear. They will put your plans down, and they will do their best to enforce what they think is right, when you know damn well that it’s not for you.
Take some time to be alone, and stay productive while you are. I have found that, I feel the best when I take some time to be alone and retrace my steps. If you're around someone all the time you get to attached. Being too attached can be a very bad thing, because you never know what’s going to happen. So keep your guard up a bit, and never leave it down all the way. Reinforce your mind that you are in control of your mind, and that you live life the way you see fit.
At the end of the day remember not to sweat the small stuff. Remember that no one is going to believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. You must also remember sometimes you have to be an ass to get what you want. I don’t mean doing harm or foul things to others, but what I mean is you have to be stern at times.
People will not share your vision, and if your vision has a deadline, then by all means get to that deadline. If someone is not on par with the deadline then let it be known. Stay true to yourself and be real with everyone. If you’re a liar or a cheater, no one will ever have faith in you including yourself.